There are a number of things I do behind closed doors; they are like rituals and traditions that are scared to me. In the spirit of new beginnings and learning to live out of my comfort zone I will share a few with you.
Whenever I start a new book, after the first few chapters I fall in love with certain characters and I skip to the end many times to find out if they die. So I am mental and emotionally prepared for their death. Reading a number of Nickolas Sparks’ books is responsible for this.
The next one is still on books; I rewrite endings of books I don’t like. I will explain. When I read a book and the end it too dramatic for me or doesn’t follow the trend I hoped for, I write another ending sometimes just in my head other times when I am inspired I pen my alternate endings on paper. This helps me sleep better at night.
Another is that I write myself in and out of situations, I have a crush on a boy, I write a sappy poem about it and when I am ready to move on I write a goodbye poem. For me writing what is going on in my life solidifies it, makes it real in my own universe. So I document all moments so they are remembered and never forgotten. (This I do also for the benefit of my children and grandchildren, so by reading my journals, can share in the weird but beautiful things I have lived through)
I write in pencils or coloured pen; like pink, yellow, purple, hardly black or blue. Pencils? Well because you can erase. Just like history, it is what we make of it. How we twist or choose to remember certain moments. Writing in pencils gives me that power to erase lines that once existed into oblivion.
Coloured pens because I like colour in my life, everything looks very bleak sometimes and it feels like all the beauty in the world is faded, using my coloured pens in my own little way brings back colour into the world, I add extra strips here and there.
I have a deep love for music, it helps me unlock emotions I didn’t know I had, let alone allow to shine or even give room to grow. I would love to create music but I can’t. My vocal chords seem to have a mind of their own and wouldn’t corporate with my dreams. I appreciate from the side-lines and I let it become the sound track of my life. For many events I have a song that perfectly explains that moment and when I relive those moments I have the song playing in the background. I can say my memories are moving pictures with their own live band playing in the background.
I think a lot about heaven. I have a list of bible characters I want to meet and I have questions I want to ask them. Top on my list, after I have greeted God, said my special thank you to Jesus and thank the Holy Spirit for guidance of course, will be Brother Paul. I’d like to tell him that his letters helped me find my place in the body of Christ and I have so many questions to ask him.
The last thing I am going to share with you is the fact that I have a never ending conversation with myself. I get tired of it sometimes but never bored of it.
If you feel up to it, I will gladly welcome your own letter on the things you do behind closed doors.
Your, Friend Ore