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Mid-Year Review: Lessons From 2017 so far…

We all know how I love making lists and sharing them, so this is list of what I have learnt in 2017. I really hope you find something you can relate with. Let’s do this review together, let me know in the comments below what your lessons from 2017 are.

1. Try things you are 100% sure you will not love; it just might turn out fear of the unknown led to your dislike of those things.
2.   Visit your friends; make out time, no matter how busy your schedule is, to build your relationships with the people in your life.
3.   Find a fellowship that is a group to study the bible with, share life experiences and pray, this will lead to you not feeling alone in your daily struggles.
4.   Go on a date with yourself, you deserve to be celebrated.
5.   Remember to buy your parents a gift; I am sure they will appreciate it
6.   Buy books for your friend’s babies; this will solidify your role as the bookish aunty or uncle plus it is never too early to start reading.
7.   Visit Café Neo and order a Pennine.
8.   Make out time to study the bible and pray, you will get lost if you don’t.
9.   Don’t waste your time daydreaming, get up and do the work.
10. Have witty answers at the ready for those who dare to ask why you are single.
11. Don’t over plan and try to micro manage your life, leave room for the unexpected they are the most amazing experiences.
12. Have honest conversations, if a good friend asks ‘’Are you fine?’’ don’t be sacred to answer ‘’No’’, if you are not fine.
13. Be deliberate about decisions that make you happy, if not you may end up overwhelmed and resentful.
14. Make life and lifestyle choices that are true to who you are, people will always question your choices, know you don’t have to defend yourself.
15. Be thankful for everything, the good, the better and the things that keeps you up at night.
25, letters,

Letters To My Husband – Lists And Expectations

Dear Husband,
A few months ago, I tore up the list I made for you; the list included all the thing I hoped you would be, it was a huge relief for me because then I don’t have to feel like I was settling whenever I liked someone that didn’t check every box of my well thought out list.
I replaced my list of more than 20 items with just two items I think are of utmost importance, I will be sharing those two things with you but first,a few things I have learnt.
One, God is preparing me for you and our children, with the lessons learnt in the most unusual ways, I am not great at asking for help when it comes to house chores, I have a system and I don’t like when it is altered,  a few weeks ago I felt the unusual desire to ask for help when I was working in the house, I learnt that my system may not always be the best approach and working with another person cuts my work in half, this is making me more open to others suggestions and less stuck up in my ways. I believe this is a vital tool that will keep me from feeling overwhelmed in our marriage.
I am seasonal cook, this means that I don’t enjoy cooking day to day, I love cooking only when I feel like, but I am learning to enjoy it on days when I don’t want to cook, learning to find joy in the process of preparing a meal, I am yet to fall in love with the process, I still had bananas and mangoes for dinner last night, but I believe in the not so distant future I will have a workable relationship with cooking, you should bear in mind that there are days when you will have to make meals.  
What made tearing up my list easier was the realisation, that God is teaching me how to be a wife and  that you are also receiving your own lessons because this isn’t a one way traffic. This was a calm reassurance that God has my back regardless of all the uncertainty that lead to me making the list.
So back to the two things that are currently on my list. Firstly that you are willing to grow in God with me, there is so much of God to be explored, so much to learn, unlearn and build from. It is really important for me that you desire to do this, so on days when I am not thirsty enough you will remind me to thirst and I will also do the same for you.
Secondly that we help each other with the things God calls us to do, the things we need to do together and those we need to do individually. That we make each other’s ‘’purpose walk’’ easier, that neither of us becomes a hindrance to the other.
I believe when we make God our focus, all the items on our individually made up list, (I know you have your own list) will fall into place, you should know that I am going to make you read poetry to me and if you can play the guitar it wouldn’t hurt.  I am looking forward to meeting you, but not before the time is right
2017, 25, Her Version of Events, letters,

Letters 06 (Her Version of Events 3)

Hello Everyone 
This is a follow up to the series ”Her Version of Events”,I should clear up a few things, the events in these letters are totally made up. LoL! 

You can catch up on the earlier letters below; 
Her Version of Events 1 
Her Version of Events 2

Enjoy!! I hope it doesn’t take me another nine months before I write the next Letter. 

Dear Friend,

I am about to go on a date with the wedding singer and I feel the need to give you a life update, so here goes.

Wedding singer, called a number of times after we met, but I wasn’t up to it so I gave excuses and I believe it wore him out and he stopped trying.

I know what you are thinking I didn’t follow through on the last line in my previous letter, I will try to explain why. I wrote that last line, forgetting that my head and emotions don’t function as one, they are two separate entities at constant war with each other making it difficult for me to move forward.

I took a step back to play mediator to my waring parts and arrived at this conclusion, these two parties may never agree, but they can work at peace by balancing each other out. So I listened to the arguments of both parties and made the effort to work on the important points they raised.

Firstly, I needed closure. I know the first name of ‘’he who must not be named’’ so I googled it.  It was a fruitless search who knew the name Folu is a common name, so I moved to Instagram, I tried Twitter and finally Facebook. I gave up my search about two months after I started.

I have always loved writing, I find it very therapeutic etching out my feelings on a sheet of paper. I wrote about the few days I spent with Folu, the process of writing out our time together made it real, that  I didn’t dream up those days. Writing ‘’our story’’ made me feel like Allie from Nicholas Sparks novel the Notebook  I can hear you screaming cheesy as you read this.

Documenting our story gave me the closure I needed, but too much time had passed and wedding singer wasn’t calling anymore. So I put all my effort into my work and went on random dates with men my friends set me up with. None of the dates were memorable, I found myself waiting for the end of each date or not paying any attention to what the guys were saying. Maybe I tried too soon, ‘’give it time’’ was the line I repeated to myself after every failed date.

Proposal season is upon us, the month of December comes with countless proposals and you can be rest assured you will get roped into planning a surprise proposal.

My friend Tito’s boyfriend roped me into planning a surprise proposal, I was in charge of getting the balloons and inviting her to lunch and bam! he would pop the question. I arrived at the venue to Tito’s nervous boyfriend, a few of our friends and yes you guessed it wedding singer.

‘’Hello’’ he said to me, he stretched his hands to collect the balloons from me, I handed them to him and I nodded in response.
‘’This is the person that refused to go out with me’’ he said to Tito’s boyfriend.
‘’It isn’t like that’’ I replied.
‘’Really?’’ he asked
‘’Yes Really’’
‘’How far is Tito, hope you made sure she is coming?’’ Tito’s boyfriend asked. I was grateful for the question
‘’Yes she is, I texted her on my way’’.
Tito arrived a few minutes later, he asked, she said yes. It was beautiful.

I walked over to wedding singer and asked if he still wanted to go out, he said yes. We fixed a time and place. We can agree to blame this on the nostalgia of witnessing a proposal. I am a little scared he will not show up, I will update you soon on how it goes.

25, Playlist,

Lifegiva Radio

I had my first live show on Lifegiva Radio today. I never in a million years thought I will be an ”OAP”. For starters I talk too fast and I am very restless but, the team at Lifegiva believe in me and this gave me the courage to take up this role, I talk a little slower now but I don’t think there is a remedy for restlessness.

The show is ”About The Song”, I co-host with my friend Bola and it airs every Sunday from 4pm – 6pm. To find more about Lifegiva and the show you can check out there website: Lifegiva.com  and turn-in to Lifegiva Radio 

Enjoy candid moments from today’s show

2017, 25, Her Version of Events, life lessons,


This is a list of things to do and work on, before my next birthday.

I made a list around this time last year 24 and I did a few things on that list, it felt so good to check the items off one after the other. I thought Ore why not make another list so here goes;
1.    Dye my hair – I have wanted to do this for the longest time and I need to put myself on a timeline to ‘’maybe’’ get it done.
2.    Travel with Miss Olaolawa (my younger sister) – We have talked about taking a sister trip for a while and also sharing an apartment. The latter will have to wait but we will definitely be taking out sister trip very soon.
3.    Learn to Bake –  From cookies to brownie, nice sugary treats
4.   Go Vegan for a month – I tried it this year and it was an epic fail, we all know I love chicken too much, but I refuse to stop trying.  
5.    Climb to the top of Olumo Rock – I went once with my family ‘’Mr Abidoye’’ didn’t let us climb the rock. The plan is to visit without him.
6.    Write more letters
7.    Read a book written by Teju Cole
8.    Wear my hair out more often –  I hate making my hair so why not let the afro breath and see the sun.
9.  Read more memoirs – Because you find light for your present and future in the stories of others past.
10. Read more books about Nigeria
11. Start a bookclub dedicated to studying Nigerian history.
12. Write every day even if is just a paragraph
13. Take more photographs.
14. Do a better job at keeping in touch with my family and friends.
15. Text more – I hate texting and I have realised that to keep in touch with people I have to learn to enjoy it.  
16. Attend an art festival.
17. Pray more – because with prayer comes peace.
18. Study my bible –  because there are a lot of things to learn about God.
19. Sing and not care about my horrible voice – I don’t have the best singing voice so I shy away from singing in public
20. Go out more and not just to the movies  
21. Watch less serial programs – my roaster is so full at the moment it isn’t healthy for productivity.
22. Learn to play the guitar – I used to have basic skills of playing the piano but I didn’t pay attention and nature the skill. I am older and wiser so I am picking an instrument I think I love and I might enjoy learning to play.
23. Learn to swim – the skill may come in handy one day so why not.
24. Finish writing my collection of short stories – I have spent the last two years working on it and it is time I finish

25. Post weekly on ‘’THE OVER THINKER’’