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2017, 25, Her Version of Events, letters,

Letters 06 (Her Version of Events 3)

Hello Everyone 
This is a follow up to the series ”Her Version of Events”,I should clear up a few things, the events in these letters are totally made up. LoL! 

You can catch up on the earlier letters below; 
Her Version of Events 1 
Her Version of Events 2

Enjoy!! I hope it doesn’t take me another nine months before I write the next Letter. 

Dear Friend,


I am about to go on a date with the wedding singer and I feel the need to give you a life update, so here goes.


Wedding singer, called a number of times after we met, but I wasn’t up to it so I gave excuses and I believe it wore him out and he stopped trying.


I know what you are thinking I didn’t follow through on the last line in my previous letter, I will try to explain why. I wrote that last line, forgetting that my head and emotions don’t function as one, they are two separate entities at constant war with each other making it difficult for me to move forward.


I took a step back to play mediator to my waring parts and arrived at this conclusion, these two parties may never agree, but they can work at peace by balancing each other out. So I listened to the arguments of both parties and made the effort to work on the important points they raised.


Firstly, I needed closure. I know the first name of ‘’he who must not be named’’ so I googled it.  It was a fruitless search who knew the name Folu is a common name, so I moved to Instagram, I tried Twitter and finally Facebook. I gave up my search about two months after I started.


I have always loved writing, I find it very therapeutic etching out my feelings on a sheet of paper. I wrote about the few days I spent with Folu, the process of writing out our time together made it real, that  I didn’t dream up those days. Writing ‘’our story’’ made me feel like Allie from Nicholas Sparks novel the Notebook  I can hear you screaming cheesy as you read this.


Documenting our story gave me the closure I needed, but too much time had passed and wedding singer wasn’t calling anymore. So I put all my effort into my work and went on random dates with men my friends set me up with. None of the dates were memorable, I found myself waiting for the end of each date or not paying any attention to what the guys were saying. Maybe I tried too soon, ‘’give it time’’ was the line I repeated to myself after every failed date.


Proposal season is upon us, the month of December comes with countless proposals and you can be rest assured you will get roped into planning a surprise proposal.


My friend Tito’s boyfriend roped me into planning a surprise proposal, I was in charge of getting the balloons and inviting her to lunch and bam! he would pop the question. I arrived at the venue to Tito’s nervous boyfriend, a few of our friends and yes you guessed it wedding singer.


‘’Hello’’ he said to me, he stretched his hands to collect the balloons from me, I handed them to him and I nodded in response.
‘’This is the person that refused to go out with me’’ he said to Tito’s boyfriend.
‘’It isn’t like that’’ I replied.
‘’Really?’’ he asked
‘’Yes Really’’
‘’How far is Tito, hope you made sure she is coming?’’ Tito’s boyfriend asked. I was grateful for the question
‘’Yes she is, I texted her on my way’’.
Tito arrived a few minutes later, he asked, she said yes. It was beautiful.


I walked over to wedding singer and asked if he still wanted to go out, he said yes. We fixed a time and place. We can agree to blame this on the nostalgia of witnessing a proposal. I am a little scared he will not show up, I will update you soon on how it goes.





2017, 25, Her Version of Events, letters, life lessons,

12th December 2015

A Letter I Wished I Received December 2015


Dear Ore,

You feel relieved after just writing your ICAN exams but a storm is coming and the only thing that will keep you from drowning is focusing on God, so get it right in your place of worship, prayer and word study.

Live a little this year, when people invite you to events attend, because those events will be your happiest memories of the year. Work on ‘’The Over Thinker’’ because people are interested in reading what you have to write.

Don’t give your heart away carelessly, be very careful; guard it jealously. Above all, don’t let it flutter before it’s time. 

You will cross paths with a lot of amazing people, let your guard down, let them in. They have wells of knowledge to share with you and you will be better off after meeting them.

Remember the things you are passionate about, these are the things that will keep you going on your darkest days.

Lastly don’t forget to read more, laugh more, take risks, explain yourself only when needed, love more and be kind.

Ultimately trust God, don’t let fear hold you back and know you will have a great 2016!
   
25, letters,

Letters To My Children – Introduction




I had this great idea late 2014 when I was stressing about motherhood {The name of my blog accurately describes me} and I asked my mum a number of wired questions. She didn’t give me satisfactory answers, but she did her best. I really should ask her how it feels having three children that are highly opinionated and have endless questions about life and everything in between.
To deal with my fears I decided to write letters to my children about all the things going on in my head at the moment. I will like to read over these letters and see how unfounded and ludicrous my fears are have a good laugh about it.

Dear Children,

You aren’t born yet, I am yet to meet your father or may I have met him and I didn’t notice I can be scattered brain sometimes and not notice important things or signals. So I apologize in advance for the little things I may not notice or forget.

I just realized a few months ago that I am scared of ‘’love’’, the thought of becoming totally vulnerable with another human being and inevitably giving them the power to hurt you scares me but I understand that to bring you into the world I will have to overcome my ‘’love weariness ’’ as I like to call it. So I am letting God teach me about love, how to love and how to accept love.

I enjoy changing diapers, I will probably share your baby formula with you, according to Grandma, I didn’t like it when I was a baby so you can say I am making up for it. But I am scared of a few things, like who would teach you to read, not to wet the bed, how to talk and write. I feel like I am not ready to welcome you into this world with so much hate and chaos.

This keeps me going and looking forward to the day I get to hold you in my arms, I didn’t bring you into this world on my own, you were given to me and your father, a precious gift to care for. I have to believe that God, will protect you and lead you in the right direction.

I don’t have a handbook on how to raise you but be rest assured I will pray every step of the way, let the Lord guide the decisions we take concerning you. We will definitely step on each others toes every now and again but don’t let us stay mad at each other for too long. Lastly you are not getting a mobile phone till your 16th birthday. If I had my way we will live on acres of farmland in a place with poor cell phone reception.

With all my love; Mama   

P.S. I have many more letters to write to you!


letters,

For Kessie


This took too long to write, I never wanted to have to write about this, but sad important things need to be documented.



I was scrolling through my twitter feed when I read a tweet ”RIP Kessie” I was in so much shock that I decided to switch apps and send Kessie a message on Whats App and I was hopeful it was a dream when I saw the two tick sign beside the message I sent, praying that the tweet was a crude joke.

I returned to my twitter feed hoping the tweet would be gone but instead I saw more tweets confirming my worst fears.
So I dropped my phone and made a wish that somehow Kessie would reply my text. I spent the next couple of hours in denial, wishing that she was alive and hoping for one last sarcastic comment.
My wishing this away didn’t bring my friend back and I have kind of come to terms with it. I love letters, writing letters, receiving letters. So I have written a letter to Kessie of all the things I want to say to her and I am choosing to deal with this by living in the memories I have of her and when those fade I will imagine sharing new adventures with you Kessie and always find ways to keep you alive in my heart. Rest well and be sure you would never be forgotten.




Dear Kessie,
Here are a few things I remember about you, you made me laugh about the silliest things, you didn’t take life or yourself too seriously always making jokes about yourself.
You are one of the best storyteller I know, I always wonder how you did it, all of us will go silent in the room whenever you launch into one of your stories.
Less I forget you are definitely the first sarcastic person I met it was second nature with you, it was always a struggle to tell when you were being serious.


Keesie here are a list of things I am sorry for, we tried to keep in touch after secondary school with sending messages back and forth on Facebook but, this didn’t last, relationships need physical meetings as we couldn’t find time for that.
By the time Instant Messaging became easy, we had drifted too far to exist in each other’s virtual world so we stuck to the occasional catch up chats on Facebook.


I ran into you in March we exchanged phone number and promised to have a catch up lunch but, we never got round to it. I told myself in the following months that we had our lives ahead for us and no need to rush setting  a date for our lunch.
I am sorry I didn’t push hard enough for our lunch date, sorry we didn’t do a better job of staying in each other’s life, if I had know you didn’t have time, I would have met up with you every weekend, create new memories. Most of all I am sorry I don’t get a do over.


I am not ready to go through the stages of grief, so I choose instead to live in the memories I have of you, of always going late to the dining hall our last year of secondary school, of late night conversations and drinking garri.
We were in our 5th year of Secondary School when I still thought I could write poems and my writing was sacred. I was writing in my journal during long break, pencil in one hand gala in another, you walked up to my table and said ‘’you be wasting time writing about that boy that left you, Ore he already moved on find another fish even if it is one with it’s eyes missing.’’ I immediately started laughing.


The morning after I heard you died, I was reading my bible and I came across this Bible Verse Isaiah 57vs.1 The righteous man perishes,and no one lays it to heart;devout men are taken away, while no one understands.For the righteous man is taken away from calamity; ESV
In all  these, I choose to believe you are in a better place and believe in this verse
Rest Well Kessie Be Sure I Will Be Telling My Children About You

Oreoluwa
24, Her Version of Events, letters,

8th July 2015

Dear Oreoluwa
You are about to get a text from ICAN that would make you feel like your world is crumbling and someone is twisting your insides. I need you to know that this isn’t the end of the world and your insides are fine.
I know your birthday is tomorrow and you want to stay in bed and wallow in self-pity. Please don’t plan a trip to the dam, Mo will take the best photos of you and Tofu would surprise you with a cake for the first time since your fifth birthday.
Cut your hair, it is long overdue don’t worry it would grow, take longer walks, have longer conversations with Aunty Kemi and Mr Mayor they have an arsenal of knowledge you would need in the coming months. Stop running to Lagos every weekend, you would miss Ilorin so much when you leave and not have the opportunity to visit.
Your holiday to Ibadan would be life changing, your inspiration for life would be renewed and you will meet and accidentally fall for someone, don’t think too much of it, just go with it. This experience would make you very happy, sad and angry, all at the same time. You can choose to avoid this all together by not having a conversation about the Civil War. This is totally up to you.
You will have another episode of depression and thoughts about dying, talk to someone about it; it isn’t bad to ask for help. Mama is trying, cut her some slack open your mouth let her know what is going on, let her know how you are feeling. Communication will make a lot of things easier to deal with in the coming months.
Don’t be Afraid; fear would keep you from a lot of adventures, go to places on the spur of the moment; the things you worry about currently wouldn’t matter in a few months.
Lastly google ‘’Bethel Music’’ and ‘’Shima Yam’’ you would thank me later