Unable to communicate with Instagram.

Blog Archives

Her Version of Events, Reflections,

The Fine Art Of Missing

How do you explain missing something that was never yours? It is the worst kind of missing. 

I am stretching all the memories I have, trying to make them last a lifetime, running them over and over in my mind to somehow create ownership and justify the missing.

How do I explain that, if I let myself, I did probably love you, but given the current state of affairs, you’ll probably never be mine so I reinforce my guards. I am thinking this means I already love you. 

And I am learning, one sad moment after another, teaching myself what life was before you and what life can and will be after you. 

Her Version of Events,

Random Facts: Oreoluwa Abidoye

A really good friend drew my attention to the fact that I haven’t uploaded a lot of  original content on The Over Thinker this year so the month of May will be dedicated to sharing more of myself with my readers from journal entries to facts about me and a truck load of embarrassing things.

So here goes, 10 random things about me that you may not know.

  1. I wave at people in traffic, sometimes I even greet  or give a compliment. I do this because I find driving in Lagos traffic very boring, I like to see the smile it puts on people’s face and the deep look of confusion that flashes across their face when they try to figure out if they know me.

  1. Time to come clean, so the first letter of the Letter Series: Her version of events is loosely based on someone I met in August of 2015, I had this instant connection with the person and spent the next few months getting to know him but I understood that we would never be more then friends and the first letter of the series was my way of saying goodbye to all the things I wished we could be.
  1. I have yearly viewings of the movies Love & Basketball and The Notebook, both movies make me very happy. I know I am a sucker for cheesy movies.
  1. I have this bad habit of not eating till I am hungry and it isn’t healthy, I have tried to break this habit and I keep failing at it so suggestions are welcomed.
  1. In my bag at all times you will find a pack of pocket tissue, a notepad, a pencil and part of my key-holder collection.
  1. I collect stationary with my younger sister, from fancy notepads, to coloured pens and neon pencils. I guess you can call it our thing.

  1. I have a breakup playlist, I really love music and the songs on this list give words to how I feel when I have lost in love.

  1. I was afraid of marriage then I stop being afraid, thank God for this.
  1. I wrote a poem of sorts for the last person I liked who didn’t like me back and he went on to analyse what I wrote for days, it was pure torture. I guess he didn’t know it was about him.
  1. I think love is total acceptance of someone, accepting and caring for all their many parts. I have only felt this way once, cared for without restraint.

Feel free to share random facts about yourself in the comments below

2017, 25, Her Version of Events, letters,

Letters 06 (Her Version of Events 3)

Hello Everyone 
This is a follow up to the series ”Her Version of Events”,I should clear up a few things, the events in these letters are totally made up. LoL! 

You can catch up on the earlier letters below; 
Her Version of Events 1 
Her Version of Events 2

Enjoy!! I hope it doesn’t take me another nine months before I write the next Letter. 

Dear Friend,

I am about to go on a date with the wedding singer and I feel the need to give you a life update, so here goes.

Wedding singer, called a number of times after we met, but I wasn’t up to it so I gave excuses and I believe it wore him out and he stopped trying.

I know what you are thinking I didn’t follow through on the last line in my previous letter, I will try to explain why. I wrote that last line, forgetting that my head and emotions don’t function as one, they are two separate entities at constant war with each other making it difficult for me to move forward.

I took a step back to play mediator to my waring parts and arrived at this conclusion, these two parties may never agree, but they can work at peace by balancing each other out. So I listened to the arguments of both parties and made the effort to work on the important points they raised.

Firstly, I needed closure. I know the first name of ‘’he who must not be named’’ so I googled it.  It was a fruitless search who knew the name Folu is a common name, so I moved to Instagram, I tried Twitter and finally Facebook. I gave up my search about two months after I started.

I have always loved writing, I find it very therapeutic etching out my feelings on a sheet of paper. I wrote about the few days I spent with Folu, the process of writing out our time together made it real, that  I didn’t dream up those days. Writing ‘’our story’’ made me feel like Allie from Nicholas Sparks novel the Notebook  I can hear you screaming cheesy as you read this.

Documenting our story gave me the closure I needed, but too much time had passed and wedding singer wasn’t calling anymore. So I put all my effort into my work and went on random dates with men my friends set me up with. None of the dates were memorable, I found myself waiting for the end of each date or not paying any attention to what the guys were saying. Maybe I tried too soon, ‘’give it time’’ was the line I repeated to myself after every failed date.

Proposal season is upon us, the month of December comes with countless proposals and you can be rest assured you will get roped into planning a surprise proposal.

My friend Tito’s boyfriend roped me into planning a surprise proposal, I was in charge of getting the balloons and inviting her to lunch and bam! he would pop the question. I arrived at the venue to Tito’s nervous boyfriend, a few of our friends and yes you guessed it wedding singer.

‘’Hello’’ he said to me, he stretched his hands to collect the balloons from me, I handed them to him and I nodded in response.
‘’This is the person that refused to go out with me’’ he said to Tito’s boyfriend.
‘’It isn’t like that’’ I replied.
‘’Really?’’ he asked
‘’Yes Really’’
‘’How far is Tito, hope you made sure she is coming?’’ Tito’s boyfriend asked. I was grateful for the question
‘’Yes she is, I texted her on my way’’.
Tito arrived a few minutes later, he asked, she said yes. It was beautiful.

I walked over to wedding singer and asked if he still wanted to go out, he said yes. We fixed a time and place. We can agree to blame this on the nostalgia of witnessing a proposal. I am a little scared he will not show up, I will update you soon on how it goes.

2017, 25, Her Version of Events, life lessons,


This is a list of things to do and work on, before my next birthday.

I made a list around this time last year 24 and I did a few things on that list, it felt so good to check the items off one after the other. I thought Ore why not make another list so here goes;
1.    Dye my hair – I have wanted to do this for the longest time and I need to put myself on a timeline to ‘’maybe’’ get it done.
2.    Travel with Miss Olaolawa (my younger sister) – We have talked about taking a sister trip for a while and also sharing an apartment. The latter will have to wait but we will definitely be taking out sister trip very soon.
3.    Learn to Bake –  From cookies to brownie, nice sugary treats
4.   Go Vegan for a month – I tried it this year and it was an epic fail, we all know I love chicken too much, but I refuse to stop trying.  
5.    Climb to the top of Olumo Rock – I went once with my family ‘’Mr Abidoye’’ didn’t let us climb the rock. The plan is to visit without him.
6.    Write more letters
7.    Read a book written by Teju Cole
8.    Wear my hair out more often –  I hate making my hair so why not let the afro breath and see the sun.
9.  Read more memoirs – Because you find light for your present and future in the stories of others past.
10. Read more books about Nigeria
11. Start a bookclub dedicated to studying Nigerian history.
12. Write every day even if is just a paragraph
13. Take more photographs.
14. Do a better job at keeping in touch with my family and friends.
15. Text more – I hate texting and I have realised that to keep in touch with people I have to learn to enjoy it.  
16. Attend an art festival.
17. Pray more – because with prayer comes peace.
18. Study my bible –  because there are a lot of things to learn about God.
19. Sing and not care about my horrible voice – I don’t have the best singing voice so I shy away from singing in public
20. Go out more and not just to the movies  
21. Watch less serial programs – my roaster is so full at the moment it isn’t healthy for productivity.
22. Learn to play the guitar – I used to have basic skills of playing the piano but I didn’t pay attention and nature the skill. I am older and wiser so I am picking an instrument I think I love and I might enjoy learning to play.
23. Learn to swim – the skill may come in handy one day so why not.
24. Finish writing my collection of short stories – I have spent the last two years working on it and it is time I finish

25. Post weekly on ‘’THE OVER THINKER’’
24, Her Version of Events,

Thoughts From The Black Notebook

I have this black notebook I got at the beginning of the year from Mr. Abidoye {Father}. I carry this notebook with me all the time, in it I write my ideas, opinions and many of the post on this blog start from this notebook.

The pages of this notebook are almost completely filled with my notes, my poor attempt at drawing and with 2016 coming to an end; I have decided to share a few of the unfinished paragraphs.

On My First Accounting Class – 23rd January 2016

I remember my first Principles of Accounting class, I felt lost and I was looking around to find another lost soul. The faces around me looked so confident as they finished the lecturer’s sentences on the Characteristics of Accounting. I shouldn’t have spent the last three years in Science class studying subjects that didn’t give me the super power of knowing the lecturer’s notes. I am going to fail this course I thought.

On Baking Journal – 4th February 2016

  • Daily Inspiration
  • Bake with me Wednesday
  • Sharing your Baking Stories

On To-Do-Lists – 19th February 2016

*Last week of February
  1. Write the letter for Grandpa
  2. Write three posts for the month of March
  3. Pray & Read my bible
  4. Work on Vision Board/ Prayer Board
  5. Dance Randomly

On Lessons My Father Didn’t Teach Me – 1st March 2016

My father neglected to tell me a long list of things before giving me my first car and those things have proven to be important life lessons.

On Feeling Out of Control – 8th March 2016

On days of deep worry I look to the skies and envy the birds; they get to fly against the wind while I keep moving in whatever direction the wind choose to take me.

On Relationships – 22nd May 2016

  • Take responsibility for your actions
  • Remember to do your part  
  • Accept your fault, work on them and keep growing
  • Apportion blame but never think you are a saint
  • Forgive, let go.
  • Remember to love and the little things

On My Relationship with Mama – 23rd May 2016

We fight and sometimes don’t speak, but we never hide our feelings even in silence. There is a certainty to our love from which we draw strength.

On the reply ”OKAY” – 24th May 2016

What does Okay! really mean. I say it one too many times to get out of questions, sometimes I say it and I mean it and sometimes I say it and I want you to ask ”are you sure?” and push until I give an honest answer.

On being Different – 4th June 2016

Who exactly set the standard for ‘’normal’’? If I do not to fit into your definition of normal, expand your thinking or move from my space.

On Singleness – 11th June 2016

What is the purpose of Singleness? I think it is to discover who you are, love and understand yourself. Learn to celebrate your individuality

On God’s Grace – 12th June 2016

I never thought I was worthy of your Grace but you shower me with it always.

On Getting Robbed – 24th September 2016

I hate raining days in Lagos, they come with dark clouds, thunder, power outage and flooded streets. The dark clouds hide the sun and give comfort to the children of the night.

On Rest – 16th October 2016

Come into my place of rest,
Let go of the burdens you hold so tightly
And come into my rest

On Love – 11th November 2016
There is a certain concept I don’t understand; as I age it becomes even more unclear and I have started to doubt its existence.

On Pop Corn Goddess – 28th November 2016

With you I can simply say all that is on my mind
Without fear of judgement or receiving a lecture
You are my soul sister.

On Unrequited Love – 10th December 2016

Be careful with your heart, don’t give it away carelessly. Guard it, above all don’t let it flutter before it’s time.

On Friendship  – 10th December 2016

Remember always to be grateful for the people in your life, because they are always around to cheer you on.

On Fellowship – 12th December 2016

We were not built to live alone, so find your niche, find your family, your place of worship. In fellowship we learn lessons and we draw strength.

On Love – 16th December 2016

I believe my fear of getting hurt is clouding the joy that awaits in love. It is time to deal with my fears and walk in love.

On The Dark Place – 20th December 2016

In the end it is your choice to keep the darkness at bay.

It is your choice to not walk into the darkness when it is the most comfortable option
It is your choice to wake up in the morning and choose joy regardless
It is your choice to live in light