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2019

2019, Playlist, Reflections,

Love Stories That Never Took Off – Introduction

“…love. Not the lasting kind, rather, the fleeting encounters that happen that make you consider forever and everything in between…”

To Love Stories That Never Took Off.

I have been thinking a lot about love. Not the lasting kind, rather, the fleeting encounters that happen that make you consider forever and everything in between but, for some reason, never quite work out.
These encounters usually consist of stolen, memorable moments, bright sparks of possibility and unclear intentions.
I wrote about one a few days ago and shared with my friends/editors. The feedback was great but what struck me the most was how they could all relate, how almost everyone had their own version of ‘’Love Stories That Never Took Off’’, an encounter with a ‘would-have-been’ bae. This got me thinking about sharing my story and other people’s stories on the website and I really hope you enjoy the stories we will be sharing in the coming weeks. So stay tuned and subscribed so you don’t miss them.

I have also gone ahead to put together an apple music playlist for this series – For Love Stories That Never Took Off

2019, Reflections,

This Is Missing

I just realized a problem. It’s the little things I can’t share with you. The little things that only come as a result of situational-conversation, which is often spurred on in a physical setting. What that means is the problem is that, because you’re far away I can rarely share the unimportant moments. The moments that skip my thoughts about the day. The moments that come in a split second and you’re cooking in the kitchen. Or you’re studying something and you remember a fun fact. That is missing.

2019, Reflections,

Never Again

The sound of your voice was what jolted me out of bed. I had just awoken from a dream where you’d surprised me, so you can imagine my joy as my heart started to palpitate. “Perhaps I heard you in my sleep”, I said to myself as I rationalized it like I always do. But who cares you’d finally come back after all this time. The wait, the uncertainty. I always knew you’d surprise me – part of me was furious you didn’t tell me, the other part didn’t give a damn. Finally!!!!! Ahh…
So I rushed out abandoning whatever bravado I had. Abandoning whatever pride I had. I rushed out.
Finally, the two of you had returned, I assumed since the two of you left at the same time. I rushed out. You weren’t there. Neither of you were. It was your sister. I always said your voices sounded alike. I returned to my sleep with a broken heart.
It happened again.
Let me just sleep, at least I know I won’t be disappointed there.
Never again.

2019, life lessons,

Grief by Aanu Jide-Ojo

Learning this multi-organed language 

Is a difficult brand of mother tongue.

The many ways your body talks:

  1. The swelling of your lungs
  2. Your lips folding in
  3. fists clenching 
  4. Your arms wrapping around your sides,
  5. Shoulders raising and eyes shutting.

There is a prayer there, 

An ahhhh God…

A why? 

As your heart gets punched again,

You remember and repeat this speech your body has now learned to speak.

Everyday, I wake to death breathing down my shoulders. 

And I wonder

If this is the day memory pulls rivers out of me. 

Old friend, 

I know how tragedies like this make you grab life by its skin, to demand answers.

Instead, lay your hands where it hurts.

Tell it,

“You will bleed less today”

“Words would come to you as healing”

“Your feet would outrun your trauma”

“God will be to you, an ally”.

2019, Her Version of Events, Lifestyle,

31st January 2019

Today, I attended an Open Mic event at Ouida Books, a bookstore in Ikeja GRA, I haven’t done something spontaneous in a while and I attended the event considering a few things I am learning.

At my office retreat last December, one of the questions asked during Mich Atagana’s talk was how she balanced work and living (the question didn’t come exactly like this, but this is how I like to think of the proverbial work-life balance). Mich answered that each person needed to define what balance means to them by starting with the things you love and making time out to do them.

Before then, I had never thought about it in that manner. I was always talking about the lack of balance in my life and had no exact strategy on how to achieve said balance. Where I sat in the audience, I decided to make a  list, it was a really short list. I didn’t want to make it too long and overwhelm myself before I even got started. Here is what my list contained;

1.       Reading (Essays and Novels)

2.       Taking Photos

3.       Videos Calls with my friends.

I know the third one is strange but having long conversations with my friends makes me really happy. The next thing I did was set out the steps on how to achieve these things.

1.            Read a new article every day, make a list of books to read every month and don’t feel bad if you don’t finish reading all the books, just keep reading.

2.            Take my camera out more often (I haven’t followed through on this, I make use of my phone)

3.            Set reminders to call my friends.

I started reading more, I wake up at about 6:30am everyday, say a prayer and instead of browsing away on Instagram, I read for about an hour before I get ready for work, I also read on my taxi rides on days I choose not to drive and any pod of free time I find during the day.

I started taking photos on my phone; of sunsets, making my friends pose or simply just taking a good old selfie. I know, nothing serious, but it gives me something creative to do every day.

Reminders do work, please use them. I called my friends, the ones willing to video chat and the one who just wanted to stick with voice calls. It feels good to be deliberate about connecting with people in your life. I feel less isolated and I don’t get lost in my head as often.

Here is what I noticed in the first few weeks of trying this; I stopped feeling on edge and snapping at everyone around me, I started sleeping better (my sleeping habit is still horrible but it has improved considerably) and I am feeling like the person I want to be; I have more room to accommodate people in my life and more love to give.

I took it a step further in the new year and made a longer list, taking into consideration the things that usually stress me and why they do. Imagine a balance scale with Stress on one side and ‘’Love Items’’ on the other side, the goal is to add more blocks to the Love Items to ensure it always outweighs the stress.

Here is what I added to the existing three items on my list.

1.       Attending literary events

2.       Travel; visit at least one new place/country before the first half of the year is over

3.       Resume daily journaling

I will keep adding to the list with passing months and see how it affects my attitude, my outlook on life and my overall wellbeing. I am not an expert at life, but this is something I have tried, it is working therefore I will keep at it.

Oh before I forget, please check out the Ignis Brothers Band, one of my greatest finds of 2019 and shoutout to my friend Toluyemi for attending the events with me.