Instagram has returned invalid data.

Blog Archives


In Three years…

Certain days stand out in the retelling of your history. Many of these standout days usually start out like every other day, you don’t know what the day will bring or that the day will be a catalyst that’ll unlock something in you; birth something in you you didn’t even realise you needed. 

One of these stand-out days for me is the 4th of September 2017. It was my first day of work at Softcom. I was nervous and unsure of what to expect, natural feelings that come with starting a new role, outside of the typical first-day orientation and introductions to everyone. It was chaotic on my first day. Our office consisted of two separate flats located at the very top of a three-story building, hence there was a lot of movement between the flats. It was an open office setup with medium-sized tables and chairs around each table. 

The first thing that stood out to me was that a few chairs had names on them and there were a lot of conversations about chairs: who owned which chair and where to sit. An impromptu trip for about 12 people came up and it was all hands on deck to buy tickets and ensure everyone that had to be was on a flight to Port Harcourt the next day.  I spent most of the day helplessly waiting for my work tool (a computer) to arrive. It eventually did past 5 pm and at the end of the day, I wondered what I had gotten myself into.

My mum picked me up on my first day of work. It is just something she always does when I start a new role. She asked, ”Ore, so how was it?” ”It was okay,” I replied. ”Just okay?” she queried and I just looked out the window nodding because I wasn’t sure how the day had gone and where this move I had just made was headed.  

I didn’t dwell on my conflicting feelings for very long because my job at Softcom, to me, was a stopgap. I always wanted to be an academic – write papers, prove theories and generally be an important opinion-giver in my chosen field. I had it all figured out: work at Softcom till July 2018 then go back to school. I had accepted an offer to a  2-year masters program in Australia. I told myself that was my focus and I should not let a “stop-gap” distract me. 

But Softcom had other plans. First with the people. The people I met were genuinely interested in your wellbeing, they cared if one person was absent for work and took it upon themselves to find out why. When we celebrated birthdays, it felt like we were a large family filled with members that had no physical or biological connection except the desire to be present and be of help in each other’s lives. People were happy to be assigned tasks, they carried it out diligently, with little to no grumbling, eager to collaborate to get an activity to the finish line. I learnt quickly that people at Softcom genuinely enjoyed their work. 

I believe because Softcom makes you feel a part of something bigger than yourself, part of a group of people challenging the status quo to bring about change in a country that causes you daily to lose hope, you are able to release your capacity to deliver; to be the hope people are looking for. This created a group of people ready to create, in those two little flats, a version of the world they hoped to live in. 

With lofty dreams and ambitions comes a stretching beyond your capacity. I have taken on different projects, completed reports I didn’t believe I was capable of delivering on. I still don’t believe in a good number of my accomplishments over the last three years. My first week of work my manager was away and I had to represent him at a meeting with one of our largest clients. I had to read up en route the meeting and ask my colleagues a lot of questions over the phone. That experience was surreal. I look back on that day not sure if it happened, not sure what I said at the meeting but I am alive and still employed so I believe it went well. 

Stretching isn’t always welcomed because it is painful but it brings about growth in your character and it improves you. 

Softcom isn’t the same company it was on my first day at work, it has grown. It has developed with its fair share of challenges along the way but I wouldn’t trade the lessons I have learnt along the way, the friendships I have built and the lasting impact that working at Softcom has had on my life for anything. 

Ore still wants to become an academic. She is still in love with papers and research so right in this moment it will not be appropriate to write ”here’s to another three years” but the wanderlust explorer that she is is grateful her sojourn made her cross paths with Softcom. 

Knowing what I know now, I look back on the memory of my first day differently. I see a group of people that wouldn’t give up until a task was delivered on. I see faces of people happy to be at work, laughing and taking shots at each other, and carrying on till change happens. 

2020, 27, Her Version of Events,

Books and Books

I happen to have two overachieving younger siblings so by the time I was 6 years old and my brother was 5, he had taught himself to read while I couldn’t read fluently. It then became my mum’s life mission to teach me to read and every evening, by candlelight, she would make me read to her from the King James Version of the Bible. Needless to say, this didn’t end well.

My mum’s sessions with me didn’t end well because I would read with my finger tracing individual lines on the pages of the Bible while she felt I should be reading without the help of my fingers, following the lines with my eyes. Thankfully, my father saved me and employed an independent party to teach me to read.

By the time I turned 7 and my brother 6, he had read through the Bible and after reading the book of Revelations, he was convinced that the beasts were coming for him at night. He would wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and find his way to my parent’s room.

He resorted to reading the Bible because he had finished reading all the books we had at home. This marked the beginning of monthly family trips to Books and Books, a bookshop that had endless shelves whose aisles I would get lost in. At first, I stuck to picture books because they had fewer words in them and I would be done reading faster. Gradually, I lost myself in the sea of Enid Blyton books and soon started having tea parties with my younger sister.

When I turned 11 years old and my brother 10, I went away to boarding school and he stayed at home for his last year of primary school. I started having headaches during classes and I got sent to the Sick Bay where the doctor recommended an eye test. I was excited to get a free pass to go home for the weekend to see my brother and sister. I didn’t give a lot of thought to the eye test.

I remember my mum and I sitting in the reception of the eye clinic. She held my hand in hers while she looked straight ahead and whispered “sorry” to me under her breath. The eye doctor said I had Astigmatism and, apparently from the test results, I’d had it a long time. It explained why I had needed my fingers to guide me when I read. I got my first pair of glasses a week later and they helped me read faster, because everything was clearer and I didn’t need my fingers anymore. When I was 15 and my brother 14, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows was released. My father pre-ordered a copy for both of us. I remember the book was available for pickup at a bookstore called Booksville. On the day of the its global release, he closed early from work to make it in time to the bookstore and deliver the book to us that night. My brother had the first go with the book, stayed awake all night reading and by morning he was finished. I spent the rest of the day in bed with the book and by nightfall, I was finished as well. We discussed the genius that is J.K Rowling and mourned the deaths of our beloved characters. I remember the look on my parents’ faces, they were happy we were happy, with my sister chiming in the background that we were too in love with witchcraft.

My brother moved away for A-Levels and further away for University, but when he was 22 and I was 23, he came home after his degree. I had searched high and low for a particular book. You see, I never quite caught the bug of digital books. I still loved holding my books in my hands and suffering from the occasional paper cut. He suggested we visit Books and Books to find what I was looking for and my mum drove us there that afternoon. When we arrived at the location she was sure the bookstore was at, it was no longer there, and in its place was a large supermarket. My mum asked the staff a few questions to confirm we had come to the right place and indeed we had, we were told it became a supermarket a few years earlier.

It felt like I had dreamed up Books and Books, like the endless aisles of bookshelves that were my home as a child were a figment of my imagination. It was a season where everything was changing and I couldn’t trust the memory of my childhood. I would have loved more than anything to have something, anything, to hold on to from that period of my life.

2020, 27, Her Version of Events,

A Decade In A Few Words

Today is December 1st 2019. I think this fact and the nostalgia of the ending decade has finally caught up with me, I find myself reliving memories I will always carry with me, thinking about all the incredible relationships I have formed along the way and the one thing that jolted me awake to the fact that I was living an accidental life. 

I will start my reminiscing of this decade from that one event that woke me up.

At this beginning of this decade, I started a relationship with a person I thought the world of. Young, naïve Ore thought she had found ‘’the one’’. I even made a playlist for us. (I have overcome all my embarrassment so I will share the playlist with you).

I am glad it happened when it did because I walked away with the following realisations; I was living an accidental life, I wasn’t conscious of the effects my decisions were having on my life in the long run and I didn’t know exactly what I wanted out of life or even a relationship.

I learnt a lot about myself my personality from that experience and I understood that the first step to self-acceptance is embracing all of who I am, including all the ugly parts I don’t like, because the love I get from life is entwined with how I perceive myself.

The relationship ended, like many relationships do, but I’ll never regret any minute of it because it shaped who I am. 

Okay, that is a lie. I regret that I let it drag on when I knew in my heart it was no longer right for me, I could have saved myself unnecessary hurt and pain.

I will get it out quickly; my romantic life was pretty uneventful after this point, just a few situation-ships sprinkled at different points across the decade, you can blame it on me running when things got serious or my insistent need to be interested in people I couldn’t realistically be with. The plan is to attempt to change this in the new decade.

I am grateful for my family. We are a very nerdy bunch and don’t understand the concept of having fun, but we are all constantly rooting for each other. I know regardless of anything that happens in life or how any of my decisions play out, they will always be in my corner. I took this for granted because it was my normal but through the decade, I came to realise that many people don’t have a family support system and it made me treasure mine more. In that same stride I am grateful for friendships, the old ones that feel like they have lasted a lifetime and the new ones that have formed deep roots in the short time. Even when I felt alone and isolated from the rest of the world, I knew they were always waiting to meet me halfway.


I wish someone had generally educated me about starting a career. Any information on the topic would have been appreciated. I had the general understanding of getting a job to earn money after university. I should add that my sister and I had a plan to rent an apartment, have it designed Pinterest board style once I got a job, the fact we even conceived this plan shows we knew nothing about the Nigerian Job market and the shock that was waiting after graduation.

I studied Accounting; it was supposed to be a realistic and stable choice for my future, but I struggled to engage with the degree to see myself practicing as an accountant for the rest of my life. I had always kept journals because my grandpa encouraged me to write my thoughts because I say very few words. My journals quickly became an escape from my degree and I gradually became comfortable sharing my opinions with the world which led to me starting my first blog ‘’Our Version of Events’’ (I love Emeli Sande) on Tumblr which evolved into  ‘’The Over Thinker’’ and I have shared inconsistently over the last decade. I enjoying writing and I thought for a minute that I could become a writer. I spent one year after university pursuing this and I learnt that there were a lot of holes in my skills, that it is a serious art form that goes beyond journaling and life didn’t afford me the luxury of developing my skills. I will keep reading to develop myself and hoping for when I can commit a 100% to writing and create a masterpiece.

After my one year of writing and applying to different roles, I started working as a Finance Officer at a Micro Finance Bank. I met and fell hopelessly in love with Microsoft Excel, I can’t understand how I lived before this. I enjoy colour coding my workbooks and learning new formulas. I didn’t really enjoy my job but there was a lot of free time that I spent reading and this made it bearable. At my three-month mark on the job I knew it wasn’t for me and I started applying to new roles not knowing what I wanted to do or be, just that I needed a new challenge.

My search led me to a role at Softcom/ Eyowo that I didn’t know I needed. The role stretched me, opened my mind and brought about growth in my personality and career. It helped me identify the things I loved about how money works in an organisation and hone my skill in a way I never thought possible and I get to go to sleep everyday knowing that the work I do contributes positively to the society.

Some things have stayed constant throughout the decade; like the fact that I want to publish a book one day while I work on that I have chosen to keep sharing on ‘’The Over Thinker’’ (please pray I become consistent). This year we launched a podcast (it feels like I birthed a child), I started writing book reviews on Instagram because there are some things you can never quite shake off, and talking about books, thinking about writing one and sharing my opinions are things that are always going to stay with me. Oh and I moved from Lagos to London, it is the hardest and most exciting thing I have done in my entire life and I will share more on my experience in the coming year.

In the spirit of living intentionally, I am currently working on a list of five things I want to achieve by 2029. It feels weird writing it down but the way the last decade flew by I am sure I will be writing another decade recap in no time. I am thinking deeply about the things that matter to me in the moment and will always matter, those are the only things that will make it on the list. I am hopeful that by December 2029, I shall write in another decade recap that all the things on my list have come true.

Here is to a glorious 2020 and may the odds ever be our favour. 

2019, life lessons,

Grief by Aanu Jide-Ojo

Learning this multi-organed language 

Is a difficult brand of mother tongue.

The many ways your body talks:

  1. The swelling of your lungs
  2. Your lips folding in
  3. fists clenching 
  4. Your arms wrapping around your sides,
  5. Shoulders raising and eyes shutting.

There is a prayer there, 

An ahhhh God…

A why? 

As your heart gets punched again,

You remember and repeat this speech your body has now learned to speak.

Everyday, I wake to death breathing down my shoulders. 

And I wonder

If this is the day memory pulls rivers out of me. 

Old friend, 

I know how tragedies like this make you grab life by its skin, to demand answers.

Instead, lay your hands where it hurts.

Tell it,

“You will bleed less today”

“Words would come to you as healing”

“Your feet would outrun your trauma”

“God will be to you, an ally”.


Letter To My 23 Years Old Self By Onomesan Oyo

Dear 23 year old self,

I write with the sincerest apologies that I haven’t given you much to work with. I am exhausted as it is and I do not have the courage to go on. I hope that you will forgive me for giving up but you would soon come to realize as I have that this life is not easy. There are times where I think of leaving it all but I do not have that kind of bravery to take something that didn’t start of my own power in the first place. I hope you would have the courage to live out the dreams that I couldn’t, I want you to know that I tried, I put in work and also completely put my trust in Him that gave me the life. I am truly exhausted with no strength to carry on but I hope that you would be everything that I hoped you would be.

I am trying to make something of my life and I hope that you would continue in the race, a lot of us want to make a positive change in the world, something that would rock the very fabric of our humanity but most of us don’t how, we have the tools but we lack the technical expertise to carpe diem the day. Each day I wake up with the burning desire that today would be the day that I have been praying for. I need you to follow up with that because in a few hours I would no longer have a guest pass in the affairs that guide my life. I wouldn’t dare pride myself as being very wise but I would leave you with some essential tips to live by:
  • If at first attempt it doesn’t work out, try again, again and again.
  • Getting to the reality of the idea of the you hidden in your head would not be easy but embrace the process.
  • People are going to try to tell you what you can or cannot do, Do always what you want because at the end of the day you are the only one the mirror reflects.
  • The world is waiting for the greatness that you are regardless of where you are right now
  •  In the very wise words of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dare to take…The world is yours to take so why not.
  • As always do you, it never gets better than that

Cheers to the life we aspire to smile
Yours Sincerely,

My 22 year old self