Today is December 1st 2019. I think this fact and the nostalgia of the ending decade has finally caught up with me, I find myself reliving memories I will always carry with me, thinking about all the incredible relationships I have formed along the way and the one thing that jolted me awake to the fact that I was living an accidental life.
I will start my reminiscing of this decade from that one event that woke me up.
At this beginning of this decade, I started a relationship with a person I thought the world of. Young, naïve Ore thought she had found ‘’the one’’. I even made a playlist for us. (I have overcome all my embarrassment so I will share the playlist with you).
I am glad it happened when it did because I walked away with the following realisations; I was living an accidental life, I wasn’t conscious of the effects my decisions were having on my life in the long run and I didn’t know exactly what I wanted out of life or even a relationship.
I learnt a lot about myself my personality from that experience and I understood that the first step to self-acceptance is embracing all of who I am, including all the ugly parts I don’t like, because the love I get from life is entwined with how I perceive myself.
The relationship ended, like many relationships do, but I’ll never regret any minute of it because it shaped who I am.
Okay, that is a lie. I regret that I let it drag on when I knew in my heart it was no longer right for me, I could have saved myself unnecessary hurt and pain.
I will get it out quickly; my romantic life was pretty uneventful after this point, just a few situation-ships sprinkled at different points across the decade, you can blame it on me running when things got serious or my insistent need to be interested in people I couldn’t realistically be with. The plan is to attempt to change this in the new decade.
I am grateful for my family. We are a very nerdy bunch and don’t understand the concept of having fun, but we are all constantly rooting for each other. I know regardless of anything that happens in life or how any of my decisions play out, they will always be in my corner. I took this for granted because it was my normal but through the decade, I came to realise that many people don’t have a family support system and it made me treasure mine more. In that same stride I am grateful for friendships, the old ones that feel like they have lasted a lifetime and the new ones that have formed deep roots in the short time. Even when I felt alone and isolated from the rest of the world, I knew they were always waiting to meet me halfway.
I wish someone had generally educated me about starting a career. Any information on the topic would have been appreciated. I had the general understanding of getting a job to earn money after university. I should add that my sister and I had a plan to rent an apartment, have it designed Pinterest board style once I got a job, the fact we even conceived this plan shows we knew nothing about the Nigerian Job market and the shock that was waiting after graduation.
I studied Accounting; it was supposed to be a realistic and stable choice for my future, but I struggled to engage with the degree to see myself practicing as an accountant for the rest of my life. I had always kept journals because my grandpa encouraged me to write my thoughts because I say very few words. My journals quickly became an escape from my degree and I gradually became comfortable sharing my opinions with the world which led to me starting my first blog ‘’Our Version of Events’’ (I love Emeli Sande) on Tumblr which evolved into ‘’The Over Thinker’’ and I have shared inconsistently over the last decade. I enjoying writing and I thought for a minute that I could become a writer. I spent one year after university pursuing this and I learnt that there were a lot of holes in my skills, that it is a serious art form that goes beyond journaling and life didn’t afford me the luxury of developing my skills. I will keep reading to develop myself and hoping for when I can commit a 100% to writing and create a masterpiece.
After my one year of writing and applying to different roles, I started working as a Finance Officer at a Micro Finance Bank. I met and fell hopelessly in love with Microsoft Excel, I can’t understand how I lived before this. I enjoy colour coding my workbooks and learning new formulas. I didn’t really enjoy my job but there was a lot of free time that I spent reading and this made it bearable. At my three-month mark on the job I knew it wasn’t for me and I started applying to new roles not knowing what I wanted to do or be, just that I needed a new challenge.
My search led me to a role at Softcom/ Eyowo that I didn’t know I needed. The role stretched me, opened my mind and brought about growth in my personality and career. It helped me identify the things I loved about how money works in an organisation and hone my skill in a way I never thought possible and I get to go to sleep everyday knowing that the work I do contributes positively to the society.
Some things have stayed constant throughout the decade; like the fact that I want to publish a book one day while I work on that I have chosen to keep sharing on ‘’The Over Thinker’’ (please pray I become consistent). This year we launched a podcast (it feels like I birthed a child), I started writing book reviews on Instagram because there are some things you can never quite shake off, and talking about books, thinking about writing one and sharing my opinions are things that are always going to stay with me. Oh and I moved from Lagos to London, it is the hardest and most exciting thing I have done in my entire life and I will share more on my experience in the coming year.
In the spirit of living intentionally, I am currently working on a list of five things I want to achieve by 2029. It feels weird writing it down but the way the last decade flew by I am sure I will be writing another decade recap in no time. I am thinking deeply about the things that matter to me in the moment and will always matter, those are the only things that will make it on the list. I am hopeful that by December 2029, I shall write in another decade recap that all the things on my list have come true.
Here is to a glorious 2020 and may the odds ever be our favour.