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25, letters,

Letters To My Children II

Dear Children,

I have a long list of things I want you to learn when you get here, like learn to speak Yoruba, French and Spanish, learn to play a musical instrument or two. Love literature, music and art the way I do.
I learnt how to play the piano for three years in primary school, I really liked my teacher but sharing practice time with my siblings was annoying.

My piano teacher in secondary school on the other hand was not that great, he told me during  my first lesson that my hands are too small to play the piano because they would not spread out enough, he proceeded to sleep about 10 minutes into the lesson.

I gave up learning to play the  piano after that. I regret taking the man’s words to heart. Recently I have been considering starting my lessons again.
I don’t want you to ever think there is nothing you can’t do, I want you to understand that you can break new grounds and do the impossible. I want you to be better than me! But I am managing my expectations, because I understand that what I dream for you may not be your dreams and I will have to support you regardless.

I will have to help you find you path and not guide you to the one I have selected for you and this isn’t an easy task because I will watch you be completely dependent on me for everything, watch you learn to walk and talk, be inquisitive about everything and watch you grow and not need me so much with every passing year.

Expect we will have conversations when I think you are making a mistake or throwing away your life by making impulsive decisions, neither of us will like this but we will both be better for it.
All these will be harder because every time you leave home I will want to curl up in one of your suitcases and come along to keep you safe, I know this is slightly irrational because God will always keep you safe, but this doesn’t stop me from thinking it’s my 24hr/ 7days a week job to protect you.  
I am teaching myself to manage my careful thought out plans for your live, I am learning that what I dream for you will probably not what you will dream for yourself.
I am telling myself every day that this is okay.

With All My Love; Mama.

Letter To My 23 Years Old Self By Onomesan Oyo

Dear 23 year old self,

I write with the sincerest apologies that I haven’t given you much to work with. I am exhausted as it is and I do not have the courage to go on. I hope that you will forgive me for giving up but you would soon come to realize as I have that this life is not easy. There are times where I think of leaving it all but I do not have that kind of bravery to take something that didn’t start of my own power in the first place. I hope you would have the courage to live out the dreams that I couldn’t, I want you to know that I tried, I put in work and also completely put my trust in Him that gave me the life. I am truly exhausted with no strength to carry on but I hope that you would be everything that I hoped you would be.

I am trying to make something of my life and I hope that you would continue in the race, a lot of us want to make a positive change in the world, something that would rock the very fabric of our humanity but most of us don’t how, we have the tools but we lack the technical expertise to carpe diem the day. Each day I wake up with the burning desire that today would be the day that I have been praying for. I need you to follow up with that because in a few hours I would no longer have a guest pass in the affairs that guide my life. I wouldn’t dare pride myself as being very wise but I would leave you with some essential tips to live by:
  • If at first attempt it doesn’t work out, try again, again and again.
  • Getting to the reality of the idea of the you hidden in your head would not be easy but embrace the process.
  • People are going to try to tell you what you can or cannot do, Do always what you want because at the end of the day you are the only one the mirror reflects.
  • The world is waiting for the greatness that you are regardless of where you are right now
  •  In the very wise words of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dare to take…The world is yours to take so why not.
  • As always do you, it never gets better than that

Cheers to the life we aspire to smile
Yours Sincerely,
My 22 year old self

25, letters,

Letters To July II

Random Photo From Graduation 
Dear Muyiwa,

I sat across from you at a fast food restaurant, I had the first bite of my fried rice and declared it horrible and a waste of my money, you said your donuts wasn’t any better. I struggled through my rice while you managed to eat half of your first donut which you quickly washed down with coke. I asked when you started drinking coke, you said you weren’t sure when, but you are trying to stop taking it.
How the tables have turned, I remember when I was a ‘coke addict’, I used to smuggle it into campus (hope you remember our campus had a strict policy against caffeine) in old yoghurt drink containers. Every now and again you will bring me a bottle and lecture me on how it was bad for my health. I stopped taking coke about a year ago and now I am the one giving you lectures on the ‘evils of coke’. This makes me think of how different we are from when we first met a few years ago, different yes, but the same people in so many ways.
On the day we met we had an argument about the dress code of our university, I was of the opinion that the formal dress code prepared us for life after university and you believed that it stifled creativity, that people were not given the opportunity to express themselves through their clothes. It is ironic that you pay attention to the details on your outfit and you read GQ Magazine to keep up to date with male fashion trends while I long for a job where I can express myself through my clothes and not be confined to a set of rules. Maybe we rubbed off on each other. In swapping opinions we questioned our stand on life ideas and we became true to ourselves in the process.
You have to remember the first poem we wrote together, it was about stars, the moon and the activities that happen in the comfort of the night. That was a first for me, I had never written with anyone before let alone taken my writing seriously. I really enjoyed the process of writing with you that we had a short-lived blog where we shared poems we wrote together.
That day, while we nursed our horrible meals, I had my first honest conversation in months. That was easy because there is no judgement, no reservations, I can be unapologetic about all the crazy things that go on in my head. It isn’t one-way traffic where I dump all my crazy and you just listen, you share too. It is honest exchange of burdens, this is one of the many reasons our friendship is important to me.
We don’t get to see or talk often, because I am horrible at texting and you live two hours’ drive away, so I look forward to the rear occasion when our paths cross and we can talk and share a horrible meal.

P.S I am looking forward to us writing again.

2017, 25, Her Version of Events, letters,

Letters 06 (Her Version of Events 3)

Hello Everyone 
This is a follow up to the series ”Her Version of Events”,I should clear up a few things, the events in these letters are totally made up. LoL! 

You can catch up on the earlier letters below; 
Her Version of Events 1 
Her Version of Events 2

Enjoy!! I hope it doesn’t take me another nine months before I write the next Letter. 

Dear Friend,

I am about to go on a date with the wedding singer and I feel the need to give you a life update, so here goes.

Wedding singer, called a number of times after we met, but I wasn’t up to it so I gave excuses and I believe it wore him out and he stopped trying.

I know what you are thinking I didn’t follow through on the last line in my previous letter, I will try to explain why. I wrote that last line, forgetting that my head and emotions don’t function as one, they are two separate entities at constant war with each other making it difficult for me to move forward.

I took a step back to play mediator to my waring parts and arrived at this conclusion, these two parties may never agree, but they can work at peace by balancing each other out. So I listened to the arguments of both parties and made the effort to work on the important points they raised.

Firstly, I needed closure. I know the first name of ‘’he who must not be named’’ so I googled it.  It was a fruitless search who knew the name Folu is a common name, so I moved to Instagram, I tried Twitter and finally Facebook. I gave up my search about two months after I started.

I have always loved writing, I find it very therapeutic etching out my feelings on a sheet of paper. I wrote about the few days I spent with Folu, the process of writing out our time together made it real, that  I didn’t dream up those days. Writing ‘’our story’’ made me feel like Allie from Nicholas Sparks novel the Notebook  I can hear you screaming cheesy as you read this.

Documenting our story gave me the closure I needed, but too much time had passed and wedding singer wasn’t calling anymore. So I put all my effort into my work and went on random dates with men my friends set me up with. None of the dates were memorable, I found myself waiting for the end of each date or not paying any attention to what the guys were saying. Maybe I tried too soon, ‘’give it time’’ was the line I repeated to myself after every failed date.

Proposal season is upon us, the month of December comes with countless proposals and you can be rest assured you will get roped into planning a surprise proposal.

My friend Tito’s boyfriend roped me into planning a surprise proposal, I was in charge of getting the balloons and inviting her to lunch and bam! he would pop the question. I arrived at the venue to Tito’s nervous boyfriend, a few of our friends and yes you guessed it wedding singer.

‘’Hello’’ he said to me, he stretched his hands to collect the balloons from me, I handed them to him and I nodded in response.
‘’This is the person that refused to go out with me’’ he said to Tito’s boyfriend.
‘’It isn’t like that’’ I replied.
‘’Really?’’ he asked
‘’Yes Really’’
‘’How far is Tito, hope you made sure she is coming?’’ Tito’s boyfriend asked. I was grateful for the question
‘’Yes she is, I texted her on my way’’.
Tito arrived a few minutes later, he asked, she said yes. It was beautiful.

I walked over to wedding singer and asked if he still wanted to go out, he said yes. We fixed a time and place. We can agree to blame this on the nostalgia of witnessing a proposal. I am a little scared he will not show up, I will update you soon on how it goes.

2017, 25, Her Version of Events, letters, life lessons,

12th December 2015

A Letter I Wished I Received December 2015

Dear Ore,

You feel relieved after just writing your ICAN exams but a storm is coming and the only thing that will keep you from drowning is focusing on God, so get it right in your place of worship, prayer and word study.

Live a little this year, when people invite you to events attend, because those events will be your happiest memories of the year. Work on ‘’The Over Thinker’’ because people are interested in reading what you have to write.

Don’t give your heart away carelessly, be very careful; guard it jealously. Above all, don’t let it flutter before it’s time. 

You will cross paths with a lot of amazing people, let your guard down, let them in. They have wells of knowledge to share with you and you will be better off after meeting them.

Remember the things you are passionate about, these are the things that will keep you going on your darkest days.

Lastly don’t forget to read more, laugh more, take risks, explain yourself only when needed, love more and be kind.

Ultimately trust God, don’t let fear hold you back and know you will have a great 2016!