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2017, 25,

Letters To July I

Dear Kike,
Why don’t we have any cute photos together? I realized this when I finally sat down to write this letter, we have one that we took at my graduation but I don’t think it counts. When next we see we will have to rectify this.  
Kiks, I am writing because I miss you, I miss having you in the same time zone – now I have to look up the time whenever I want to text or call and it is stressful. I miss painting our nails to match our moods, black nails for weeks we were unhappy, red nails for weeks we were excited and all the colours in between, my brain can’t remember what each colour stood for.
Every now and again, I am transported to that summer we spent together. It was the summer you graduated from University and your mum’s latest shop attendant was discovered to be stealing so she was fired. You became the shop attendant and I became your assistant. We sat in the shop and talked about your budding relationship with “B” and how my relationship with ‘’Do Not Call’’ was doomed, you never failed to rub it in that you were right.
My grandpa died that summer. The day he died we went to see ‘The Avengers’, it was the movie to see that summer. I got home late and my mum was furious, she kept saying “your grandpa is dead and you are out seeing a movie”, she said this like a broken record. I was sure my mum was losing it that night. We spoke to my grandpa that week and we planned to visit soon. I wasn’t ready to deal with my mum so I apologised reassured her that he was alive and went to bed, but I couldn’t sleep that night, I could hear my mum sobbing from her room, I was at a loss on how to comfort her.
My uncle showed up the next morning with red swollen eyes to break the news to us, I cried and couldn’t stop for hours. I couldn’t bring myself to make anything to eat, so I walked to your house which was a street away from mine and you fed me rice and fish and let me cry. You didn’t say any of those annoying things people say to comfort you when a person dies.
I told you how creepy it was that my Grandpa died around 7:00 pm and that was about the same time we got home from the movie to my furious mother. You know in the Yoruba culture you don’t tell a woman her father is dead if a man is not at home and my dad was away that weekend so the burden of telling my mum fell on my uncle’s shoulder. I asked you if I will feel it too when my parents died, if I will know the exact moment and have the luxury to mourn in private like my mum did. You didn’t have answers to my questions, you just sat there and let me mourn, you suggested that we should paint our nails black. So walked to the salon not too far from your house and we did that, you walked me home after we got our nails done, told me I will be just fine and you were right as always.
The summer was different after that. My mum didn’t want to leave my grandma by herself so we drove up to Ilorin every weekend. I wasn’t excited about leaving the house for the shop anymore, but you never failed to check up on me.  When “Do Not Call” broke up with me that summer because I was too moody, you told me it was his loss while we had yogurt drinks at your mum’s shop.
I am sure you remember all these events, but I am not sure I ever thanked you for that summer, I am not sure I ever told you how much all you did was important to me. You kept me from drowning and I am always grateful.  
There are so many life updates I have for you but, I will keep them for another letter or maybe share them with you in person. I am counting down till the next time we are in the same time zone so we can finally take cute photos.
Love Always,
Oreoluwa.

P.S. You should need to read ‘’Stay With Me by Ayobami Adebayo’’.
2017, Playlist,

Headphones & Epiphanies – Oyinkan’s Story

Today was a rainy day in Lagos, rainy days equal traffic and aching knees and upper arms. 
What kept me going on my drive home is my current ”One Woman Party Playlist”. I was singing along with at the top of my lungs and I forgot my aching joints and the traffic.
The songs I listened to took me on a journey to a place where all my current problems cease to exist and I could live in the songwriters words. 
Music is an important part of my life, I have learnt so much about life and God’s love through music. 
What better way to celebrate my love for  music than to get my friends to share their stories through music they love.   
The Series on The Over Thinker for this month is Headphones and Epiphanies! I hope you enjoy it. 
Please leave a song recommendation in the comments below! 

I’m a lover of music. Period. Regardless of its genre or category. I’m literally one of those people who was and is still being saved by music (after God of course).

I have way too many favourites so it was actually a pain to try and put them in such a short list. I did try to pick 10 of my favourite songs but I really couldn’t put them in an order. I draw the line in confining such beauty to an order. So here are just 10 out of my many many favourites. I hope you like them.

  • The Scientist by Coldplay – I absolutely love this song. There are so many covers but my favourite is still the Glee cast version. This song sure got me through my heartbreak days.
  • Beauty in the World by Macy Gray – This song actually cheers me up when I’m down. Reminds me that there’s still good and happiness to be found in the world.
  • Skinny Love by Birdy (originally by Bon Iver)– I love Birdy’s sound. Skinny love happens to be the first of her songs I ever heard and fell in love with. This song is one of my favourite songs because i could totally related with the title and it also got me through some heartbreak days too.
  • Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men – The beginning of this song always makes me want to dance by jumping and putting my fist in the air. Lol. And doing that just makes me feel silly and happy. 
  • This is how we do it by Montell Jordan – This right here is a classic old school jam. I know the lyrics to this song from beginning to end and I just always feel like such a cuu kid when I jam to it.
  • Hey, soul sister by Train – This is also one of my best friend’s favourite and it was and always will be our jam. In school, we’d often use spoons as pretend microphones, jump and sing this song at the top of our voices and subsequently annoy everyone around us. But we didn’t care. It was our jam so it had to be done. Lol.
  • Have you ever by Brandy – Back in secondary school, I went through a ‘blues’ phase. This song pretty much summed up my feelings for a crush I had. I’d cuddle up in bed, listen to this song on my walkman ( which was a contraband) and think about this crush (Sad, I know). Lol. It never really made me feel better but it still remains one of my favourites. Oh and if you were wondering, it never worked out with that crush either.
  • He turned it by Tye Tribbett – This song pretty much sums up all God has done and still does for me and how he has put the devil to shame in my life. Love the lyrics and how fast the beat is. No one should be subjected to the sight of me dancing to this song. Lol. You’d probably be intimidated by the joy I radiate.
  • Home by Gabrielle Aplin – I absolutely love acoustic music and that’s basically all Gabrielle does. The lyrics have truth and meaning. Oh and her voice is so sweet and unique. That alone certifies it as a favourite for me.
  • Home is wherever I’m with you by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes – This song puts a smile on my face whenever I listen to it. The title of the song already tells you what the song is about and being the hopeless romantic that I am, how can I not love it. Lol. Love the beat and somewhat amusing lyrics 

These are just 10 of my favourite songs. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this. Cheers.


You can click below to listen to the songs on the playlist

Oyinkan’s Playlist 

2017, 25, Her Version of Events, letters,

Letters 06 (Her Version of Events 3)

Hello Everyone 
This is a follow up to the series ”Her Version of Events”,I should clear up a few things, the events in these letters are totally made up. LoL! 

You can catch up on the earlier letters below; 
Her Version of Events 1 
Her Version of Events 2

Enjoy!! I hope it doesn’t take me another nine months before I write the next Letter. 

Dear Friend,


I am about to go on a date with the wedding singer and I feel the need to give you a life update, so here goes.


Wedding singer, called a number of times after we met, but I wasn’t up to it so I gave excuses and I believe it wore him out and he stopped trying.


I know what you are thinking I didn’t follow through on the last line in my previous letter, I will try to explain why. I wrote that last line, forgetting that my head and emotions don’t function as one, they are two separate entities at constant war with each other making it difficult for me to move forward.


I took a step back to play mediator to my waring parts and arrived at this conclusion, these two parties may never agree, but they can work at peace by balancing each other out. So I listened to the arguments of both parties and made the effort to work on the important points they raised.


Firstly, I needed closure. I know the first name of ‘’he who must not be named’’ so I googled it.  It was a fruitless search who knew the name Folu is a common name, so I moved to Instagram, I tried Twitter and finally Facebook. I gave up my search about two months after I started.


I have always loved writing, I find it very therapeutic etching out my feelings on a sheet of paper. I wrote about the few days I spent with Folu, the process of writing out our time together made it real, that  I didn’t dream up those days. Writing ‘’our story’’ made me feel like Allie from Nicholas Sparks novel the Notebook  I can hear you screaming cheesy as you read this.


Documenting our story gave me the closure I needed, but too much time had passed and wedding singer wasn’t calling anymore. So I put all my effort into my work and went on random dates with men my friends set me up with. None of the dates were memorable, I found myself waiting for the end of each date or not paying any attention to what the guys were saying. Maybe I tried too soon, ‘’give it time’’ was the line I repeated to myself after every failed date.


Proposal season is upon us, the month of December comes with countless proposals and you can be rest assured you will get roped into planning a surprise proposal.


My friend Tito’s boyfriend roped me into planning a surprise proposal, I was in charge of getting the balloons and inviting her to lunch and bam! he would pop the question. I arrived at the venue to Tito’s nervous boyfriend, a few of our friends and yes you guessed it wedding singer.


‘’Hello’’ he said to me, he stretched his hands to collect the balloons from me, I handed them to him and I nodded in response.
‘’This is the person that refused to go out with me’’ he said to Tito’s boyfriend.
‘’It isn’t like that’’ I replied.
‘’Really?’’ he asked
‘’Yes Really’’
‘’How far is Tito, hope you made sure she is coming?’’ Tito’s boyfriend asked. I was grateful for the question
‘’Yes she is, I texted her on my way’’.
Tito arrived a few minutes later, he asked, she said yes. It was beautiful.


I walked over to wedding singer and asked if he still wanted to go out, he said yes. We fixed a time and place. We can agree to blame this on the nostalgia of witnessing a proposal. I am a little scared he will not show up, I will update you soon on how it goes.





2017, 25, Her Version of Events, life lessons,

25




This is a list of things to do and work on, before my next birthday.

I made a list around this time last year 24 and I did a few things on that list, it felt so good to check the items off one after the other. I thought Ore why not make another list so here goes;
1.    Dye my hair – I have wanted to do this for the longest time and I need to put myself on a timeline to ‘’maybe’’ get it done.
2.    Travel with Miss Olaolawa (my younger sister) – We have talked about taking a sister trip for a while and also sharing an apartment. The latter will have to wait but we will definitely be taking out sister trip very soon.
3.    Learn to Bake –  From cookies to brownie, nice sugary treats
4.   Go Vegan for a month – I tried it this year and it was an epic fail, we all know I love chicken too much, but I refuse to stop trying.  
5.    Climb to the top of Olumo Rock – I went once with my family ‘’Mr Abidoye’’ didn’t let us climb the rock. The plan is to visit without him.
6.    Write more letters
7.    Read a book written by Teju Cole
8.    Wear my hair out more often –  I hate making my hair so why not let the afro breath and see the sun.
9.  Read more memoirs – Because you find light for your present and future in the stories of others past.
10. Read more books about Nigeria
11. Start a bookclub dedicated to studying Nigerian history.
12. Write every day even if is just a paragraph
13. Take more photographs.
14. Do a better job at keeping in touch with my family and friends.
15. Text more – I hate texting and I have realised that to keep in touch with people I have to learn to enjoy it.  
16. Attend an art festival.
17. Pray more – because with prayer comes peace.
18. Study my bible –  because there are a lot of things to learn about God.
19. Sing and not care about my horrible voice – I don’t have the best singing voice so I shy away from singing in public
20. Go out more and not just to the movies  
21. Watch less serial programs – my roaster is so full at the moment it isn’t healthy for productivity.
22. Learn to play the guitar – I used to have basic skills of playing the piano but I didn’t pay attention and nature the skill. I am older and wiser so I am picking an instrument I think I love and I might enjoy learning to play.
23. Learn to swim – the skill may come in handy one day so why not.
24. Finish writing my collection of short stories – I have spent the last two years working on it and it is time I finish

25. Post weekly on ‘’THE OVER THINKER’’
2017, 25, Her Version of Events, letters, life lessons,

12th December 2015

A Letter I Wished I Received December 2015


Dear Ore,

You feel relieved after just writing your ICAN exams but a storm is coming and the only thing that will keep you from drowning is focusing on God, so get it right in your place of worship, prayer and word study.

Live a little this year, when people invite you to events attend, because those events will be your happiest memories of the year. Work on ‘’The Over Thinker’’ because people are interested in reading what you have to write.

Don’t give your heart away carelessly, be very careful; guard it jealously. Above all, don’t let it flutter before it’s time. 

You will cross paths with a lot of amazing people, let your guard down, let them in. They have wells of knowledge to share with you and you will be better off after meeting them.

Remember the things you are passionate about, these are the things that will keep you going on your darkest days.

Lastly don’t forget to read more, laugh more, take risks, explain yourself only when needed, love more and be kind.

Ultimately trust God, don’t let fear hold you back and know you will have a great 2016!