The Reflection Series: Personality and Character

I know it feels like I dropped off the face of the earth, but, I am back, maybe kind of back. Hope you noticed the new website? It is still under construction so let me know your thoughts on it in the comments below.

2018 is going down in the record books for me as the start of my adulting journey. I will share more on this in the coming weeks. Ore is in a very reflective mood; the sound of October always does this to her.

Why are we here?

There has been a lot of conversation about feedback, the most popular saying I have heard about it is, “feedback is a gift”. In the spirit of this, I decided to ask my colleagues and my family members to describe my personality in one word and I got interesting answers that were all along the same line.

My sister Ola thinks I am cold to her sometimes. She is a hugger and I am not; she wants to hug me in the morning when we wake up and, in the evenings, when I get back from work, I just stand, stiff in her embrace, and she always lets go when she is ready.  

All my colleagues agree that I make my stance clear on all issues and stick to it. In their words “Ore doesn’t take rubbish”. I have never seen myself in this light, stubborn maybe, irritated by tardiness yes, but this is new to me and it was interesting finding this out.

One of my friends believes the only emotion I express is frustration; that I have forgotten how to express all other emotions. I will explain this away as the outcome of the pressure cooker that has been my life this year. I have zero desires to take the pressure pot along with me into 2019.

A lot of people think I am cold; I am an introvert and I have zero small talk skills, I go along with a book to all events, so I have company. I know, ‘bad behaviour’, but suggestions are welcome on how I can become warmer.

Another notable feedback is that I can’t stand stupidity; that I expect a certain level of intelligence and initiative from people and my irritation shows when people don’t live up to my expectations.

This may be true. I recently took an insightful personality test (16personalities.com) and apparently, one of my personality traits is that I am an idealist, and this leads to me having unrealistic expectations of people and inevitably leaves me disappointed. I am taking steps to set realistic expectations for, not only people around me but also for myself.

The last one I will be sharing is Dr Abidoye’s (Mama) one word, her word was moody. She went on to explain that I have always been moody and this worries her. That my constant undulating between happy, sad and somewhere in the middle is unsettling, and she is always unsure which Ore she will meet when I walk through the door.

This was by far the hardest feedback to hear and process. I always have a lot going on in my head and I always retreat into myself to untie the knots, so I have been trying to be more open with her about what I am feeling, so she will worry less.

Let me know in the comments if this is an exercise you will consider taking. If you know me in person I’d like to hear your description of me in one word.

I must say, it is unsettling that no one described me as kind or loving but it is what it is.

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